


Which Flavour Do You Prefer?

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-01
Updated: 2005-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: When a hopeless James goes to his marauder friends for advice on how to get Lily to go out with him, Sirius tells James a story. Would Sirius' story help James make a wise decision, or not? Lots of marauder humor, One-shot





	Which Flavour Do You Prefer?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Which Flavour Do You Prefer?**

**Dedication: I dedicate this one-shot to my Health teacher. He was the one who told me about the following story Sirius tells James, and I thought it fits right in with the Marauders!**

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything…isn’t it quite obvious?**

~:O:~

“I can’t believe it! Why does she reject me so? Come one Moony, you gotta help me!”� pleaded the ever so hopeless, James Potter. He was currently on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, kneeling besides Remus and clutching his robes. He was using his big hazel eyes to do the puppy-dog pout. I mean come on, who can resist that?

 

 

Remus sighed deeply and looked down to James. He was doing the puppy-dog pout that Sirius often used to try and get off detention with Professor McGonagall. Of course, it always failed to work. Peter was in the corner watching with amusement of Remus struggling to get away from James. Remus, getting quite tired of James’ childish acts, finally said, “Prongs, Lily has rejected you plenty of times before, why are asking me for help now?”� 

 

 

“Because, you are the coolest, smartest, wisest, caring _and_ most supportive of all my friends that I have, who would help to win Lily over!”� James said dramatically, standing up and throwing his hand in the air for emphasis.

 

 

“Isn’t Padfoot’s job to help you with ‘Girl Problems’?”� he said using his fingers to quote out what he was saying.

 

 

“Padfoot, who?”� James asked disgruntled, then scoffed. 

 

 

“Is he off snogging some girl again? Oh yes, Friday night. How can I forget?”� Remus said reminding himself, rolling his eyes. Sirius Black was often in found in some broom closet snogging a girl on Friday nights, sometimes random or by appointment. As disgusting it was to Remus, dozens of Gryffindor girls never failed to sign up weekly on the appointment sheet, which was located on the common room bulletin board.

 

 

“Today, he suddenly got mad at me and started to shout at me of how stupid I was and such! You sometimes wonder if Padfoot is really a guy with all the mood swings he has. He’s like a bloody girl on her period!”� James exclaimed. He paused, as if he was thinking something over, “Or can I say, a girl on her bloody period? Yah, that would make more sense. Wouldn’t it Moony?”� He asked still in thought.

 

 

Remus said nothing as he sat down on one of the chairs by the tables where students use to do their homework on. He was thinking of how such a bright student could be so blind and clueless. He would have too, exploded at James for being so idiotic and bothersome all the time and asking him advice about how to get Lily to go out with him. He shook his head and pinched the top of his nose as his elbow rested on the table, while James rambled on about which made more sense, a bloody girl on her period or a girl on her bloody period.

 

 

Finally, getting weary of James talking to himself Remus shouted, “BOTH make sense!”�

 

 

“Gee Moony, you could have just told me politely. No need to shout, mate,”� James replied half annoyed.

 

 

“Prongs how ab-’’ but Remus was cut off when the portrait door opened and a cheery looking Sirius came in. He was whistling a happy tune, walked straight past where Remus and James were currently seated, and headed for the staircase to the boy’s dormitories. 

 

 

“Padfoot?”� Remus called out. No response came from Sirius. “Padfoot? Hello? Can you hear me?”� Remus called out again. Sirius seemed to walk faster and ignoring Remus.

 

 

“PADFOOT? A little help here?”� Remus cried out desperately.

 

 

“NOPE. Not my problem anymore, Moony. You have fun helping whining Prongsie!”� He shouted back as he made a run for the staircase. But he never reached the staircase, as a hex hit him, making him frozen stiff!

 

 

“Okay, who’s brilliant idea was it to put the flames out on ‘The Hogwart’s Hottie’?”� He managed to yell out without moving his lips so much.

 

 

James shook his head sadly, then Remus rolled his eyes again as he muttered a counter curse to Sirius. Remus sometimes wondered if his eyes would permanently get stuck from rolling his eyes so often. That was one of risks he would have to take to have Sirius Black or James Potter as his friends.

 

 

“Listen Prongs, we-”� Remus started pointing to himself and Sirius looking bored, “-can only help you so much to get Lily to go out with you. You’re the one who wants Lily to go out with you, so you should come up your own ideas to woo her,”� Remus finished.

 

 

“Moony, I’m blind, clueless, and hopeless, you gotta be more specific here,”� James replied desperately. 

 

 

“How about you just forget about Lily and move on?”� Sirius asked, hoping James would consider his idea. The only thing he ever wished for was to get James to move on to another girl, so he would stop sulking and whining to him when Lily said she won’t go out with him.

 

James gasped loudly, as if to say that was the crime of the century. 

 

 

“Give up? GIVE UP?! How can I give up on a girl that I have fancied since fourth year?”� James said, clearly very offended by that statement.

 

 

“James you are in seventh year, you got to test the waters for other fish. Otherwise, how would you know what you like and don’t like?”� Remus said, praying that James would catch on.

 

 

“What fish?”� James asked, even more baffled.

 

 

“Merlin’s beard! Like the story with the ice cream flavors! Haven’t you heard of that story?”� Sirius asked getting sick of James not being able to understand metaphors and such. 

 

 

“Okay, last time it was fish, and now it’s ice cream? Bloody hell, where are you getting these bizarre ideas?”� James said frustrated. Sometimes he wondered if they were ever speaking English. Remus rolled his eyes again as Sirius sighed to tell the story.

 

 

“Okay, so guy number one goes into an ice cream shop, right? You following so far, Prongs?”� Sirius paused to ask.

 

 

“Okay, a guy goes to ice cream shop, got it,”� James nodded eagerly.

 

 

“So guy number one orders a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and lets say the vanilla ice cream stands for Lily-’’

 

 

“Can Lily be cherry?”� James asked, cutting off Sirius.

 

 

“Why the bloody hell would it matter if it was cherry or not?”� Sirius asked, this time him being confused.

 

 

“Cherry would be red, like Lily’s hair,”� James replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

 

“Oh Merlin, help me,”� Sirius muttered as he smacked his hand on his forehead. Remus shook his head then tilted it to look at the ceiling, like he was praying for James’ well being.

 

 

“Sure Prongs, whatever helps you to understand this better,”� Remus told beaming James.

 

 

“Okay, without further interruptions from the audience, that means you Prongs,”� Sirius paused to point at James, “we will get on with the story. So guy number one orders a _cherry_ flavored ice cream,”� Sirius said emphasizing cherry so that James would hear it properly.

 

 

“The same guy would always, for months, order the same ice cream daily. Then there’s guy number two, who ordered a cherry ice cream on his first day. Then the next day he would order chocolate, and let’s say it stands for Marlene. The next day he would order vanilla, and it stands for Peter-’’ (this caused Peter to exclaim ‘Hey!’ and James wincing and Remus shuddering in response, which Sirius completely ignored) “-and each time he goes, he orders a different ice cream flavor,”� Sirius finished. He looked to James to see if he was absorbing all this information, and was glad to see James looking determined and serious to understand this oh-so-complex story.

 

 

“Lastly, guy number three,”� he started, “orders cherry on the first day, but after a couple of days he tries chocolate. Now, he learns that he doesn’t particularly like chocolate, so the next day he orders a strawberry flavored ice cream. Do you get what I’m trying to tell you Prongs?”� Sirius asked. Sirius could visibly see James’ head working and engrossing the facts, and finally he shook his head no.

 

 

“Okay,”� Sirius sighed, “You see, the guy number one, will never really get to taste any variety of flavors because he always sticks to one flavor, so he will never really know what he likes or dislike. Guy number two, also won’t know what he likes or dislikes because he tries just random flavors and he can’t compare what he likes or not. Guy number three, knows exactly what he wants, because he knows he likes cherry but not chocolate, so he tries another ice cream based on berries like cherry. Do you sort of get it now?”� Sirius asked one more time.

 

 

James began to nod his head slowly and replied, “Sort of. So he likes cherry, so he tries another flavor almost like cherry and at the same time he gets to try similar flavors?”� James asked, his brows furled in confusion. 

 

 

“Yes! You got it Prongs!”� Sirius leaped from his seat and high-fived Remus, who was also grinning.

 

 

“Good job, Prongs! So you see, you have to look around to tast-I mean see other girls, to know what type of girls you like and don’t. You will never know that if you just keep pursuing Lily,”� Remus clarified.

 

 

“Oh, I get it now! It’s not so hard!”� James said as he started to smile in triumph. 

 

 

“Yes, exactly. So date around other girls and if you really don’t like them, and you’re sure Lily is really the one for you, then you can go and try to persuade Lily until she says yes-’’ (‘Which is very unlikely, Prongs’) “-to you, okay?”� Remus finished.

 

“Yeah, I get it, but what if I know what I like and don’t like? What if I just like Lily and that’s it?”� James asked. Remus closed his eyes briefly and thought about how being in love can make you so narrow-minded and blind, and then opened it again.

 

 

“You know what Prongs,”� Sirius said as he stood up from where he was seating, “we try to help you and give you advice but yet, you don’t take them! What’s the point of asking us then?”� Sirius cried, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.

 

 

“Can’t you just talk to Lily and put in a good word for me?”� James asked quietly, afraid Sirius would start yelling again.

 

 

“What good word?”�

 

 

At that question, all four marauders turned to face a girl with long, dark, wavy, red hair. She had her hands on her hips and a curious look on her pale face. The four boys gulped, for they knew her famous redhead temper whenever she caught them planning pranks or anything else that breaks the rules.

 

 

“N-n-nothing!”� James squeaked, his voice unusually high-pitched.

 

 

“Whatever, Potter, we need to get together to come up with a plan to decorate the Great Hall for Christmas,”� Lily said, in a strict business tone, eyeing the boys with more curiosity. “You know, as part of our Head Duties?”�

 

 

“S-sure, whenever is fin- oh ouch!”� James glared at Remus across the table, who had apparently kicked him in the shin. Remus then mouthed leaning over the table, “Hogsmeade.”�

“Oh, OH! Well, how about we meet at this week’s Hogsmeade visit?”� James asked hopefully.

 

 

“Potter, is this one of your brilliant schemes to make me go out on a date with you? That is pathetic, using work as your excuse to meet at Hogsmeade,”� Lily said in a cold tone. 

 

 

“No, it’s not an excuse! I swear! Well, because I’ll be quite busy with being Quidditch Captain, homework and lots of other stuff and I thought it would be nice to go out and have a meeting at Three Broomsticks or something…but strictly business of course!”� James finished.

 

 

Lily narrowed her glittering emerald green eyes at him, as if to analyze if what he had said is sincere. He was lost in thought as he stared at her emerald orbs, it was so beautiful, yet very hypnotizing. 

 

 

“Well,”� Lily started to say, as James awoke from his eye gazing, “I suppose it’s alright as long as it’s business…okay, we’ll meet at Three Broomsticks at 2 o’clock, don’t be late Potter,”� Lily said quickly, afraid she might change her mind if she didn’t say it fast enough. 

 

 

“Smashing, I’ll see you there Lily,”� James said as he smirked his cocky, arrogant smirk. Lily turned, rolling her eyes, with a little smile on her face, she walked away from the four boys, who were looking more perplexed than ever. As James went back to being confused, Sirius was the first to break the silence.

 

 

“Bloody hell, did she just accept a date from you?”� Sirius asked, with his mouth still open in awe.

 

 

“Well, technically, its not a date…”� James said slowly, as he himself let the words sink in.

 

 

“Um, Prongs? She set the date, the time, and the place. Yah mate, I think it’s a date,”� Sirius said finally closing his mouth.

 

 

James gulped, “She did say yes, didn’t she?”� 

 

 

“I guess hell just froze over, Prongs. Lily Evans said yes to Hogsmeade. With you!”� Remus exclaimed.

 

 

“Wow, I never thought I’d live to see the day…”� Peter said in wonder.

 

 

“Hey, I think its time to celebrate with a few snacks from the kitchens, let’s go!”� Sirius yelled as he jumped around happy.

 

 

“Lily Evans just said yes, she said yes. She said YES!”� As James joined the dance around the common room with Sirius, Remus shook his head but couldn’t help but laugh at how silly they looked.

 

 

“Hey, Padfoot,”� James said suddenly, as he paused from his little dance around the room, “If I’m guy number one, who are you?”�

 

 

Sirius, also stopping from his dancing, looked to James as if he were truly stupid, “Uh, duh, Prongs. I’m guy number three, the one who knows what he wants.”�

 

 

As this statement came out from Sirius’ mouth, James and Remus paused for a minute and looked to each other, then burst out laughing. James was laughing so hard that he was clutching his stomach while rolling on the floor. Remus was also laughing hysterically, and had to lean on the table for support.

 

 

“Okay, mates. What the bloody hell is so funny?”� Sirius asked staring at his best friends like they were lunatics, which was how they looked now. 

 

 

“Oh, never you mind Padfoot,”� Remus finally said as he wiped an imaginary tear from his eyes.

 

 

Then James, also stopping from laughing, coughed, which sounded more like ‘Liar’.

 

 

“And just what exactly am I lying about?”� Sirius asked indignantly, as the rest of the marauders headed up the staircase, laughing slightly, leaving Sirius alone in the common room.

 

 

“Now, I’m confused!”� Sirius shouted aloud.

~Finish~

**A/N Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Please, please, with a cherry (kekeke) on top, REVIEW!**


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